Monday, January 31, 2011

Q and A

Would I give you my number?
Yes.

Would I go out with you?
Yes.

Would I take you home with me?
Yes.

Would I call you in tears to have a bitch session with you?
Yes.

Do I like it when you upload every photo to pass through your sim card, iespecially all of the incredibly unflattering ones that I'd thought you'd deleted?
No, you little shitheads. Cut it out.

Analogies

Today is hot. The only way to accurately describe just how hot today is would be to utilise the much underused analogy 'hotter than satan's armpit'.
Friggin' satan.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Apathy

I am incredibly tired and sore from marching band. It seems I am no longer used to hefting a sousaphone about. Read about my marvy weekend at the band blog.

Friday, January 21, 2011

X

Today marks the tenth anniversary of my father's death.
How time flies.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Continuity

I was flicking through the channels and came across Troy.

If ever there was a movie in which no-one gave a damn about continuity, this is it.

To begin with, the Trojan war went on for a good 10 years. The movie pegs the war at about three days, maybe four.

With each morning, there's a lovely shot of the sun rising... from Troy's western shore.

When the civilians are running into Troy as the greeks arrive, if you look carefully, you'll see my favourite extra: a Llama.

Not to mention the fact that Aeneas is practically a child. The man was in his thirties and carryign his crippled father on his back when he fled Troy.

And there was no sword of Troy. Srsly guys.

And that wasn't even getting started on the historical innacuracies, but since I don't have several hours on my hands, I'm not going to bother.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Beardie Weirdies

Those of you who know me will be aware of the fact that I am not a fan of facial hair below the nose. Eyebrows are great, I just take issue with stubble. And any mustache other than a Stalin. Because foreign policy aside, the man had a great mow.

This dislike of stubble is so profound that I avoid university campuses like the plague during exam time, because they're flooded with guys rocking their 'beard of knowledge' - namely the bum fluff that roves about their faces as they try to convey the fact that they're studying so hard they don't have the five minutes max per day it would take them to shave.

All the St Georgians out there will remember when Mr Mo went from clean shaven to stubbly back in '09. It's not like we'd never seen him with stubble before, each year at LSS he was rocking the 'holiday beard' as we called it, and so imagine our horror when the holiday beard persisted for two entire years of school. It must be said in his defense that the beard growing might be an attempt to break out of the boyish persona he developed from starting teaching at St G fresh out of university, and at a school where he was a good 10 or more years younger than everyone else on the teaching staff, because now that he has a daughter, he now has to conform to his role as paterfamilias. Perhaps this contributed to his being kicked out of the Under 30s club growing at St G because he was too mature.

Regardless, this post is here because I saw the most marvellous thingie on a blog I follow - a chart ranking the trustworthiness of male facial hair.

Enjoy.



Click it and it gets bigger (which is kind of what she said...) alternately, go here to find it in its natural habitat.

Begging Forgiveness (or, a bitch about improper scansion)

I haven't blogged in a while. I apologise. I suppose that the fact that my life has been completely boring of late isn't an excuse, because although my life has been frighfully ho-hum, world politics is getting marvellously fruity, and I like nothing more than dispensing political analysis.

Because I'm cool like that.

I'm trawling youtube for decent music to listen to, and so far I've got nothing. So I've gone to my fallback - Sacra by Apocalyptica. Any piece of music which features phasing between 12/8 and 4/4 is bound to be something I'm willing to listen to over and over again.

I have a feeling that I'm drawn to music with fruity and/or questionable time signatures. That's probably why I like Suicide and Redemption by Metallica. It starts and ends in 5/4.

There is one flaw with this reasoning however - by my above logic, I should like music composed by Ross Edwards. Which I most unequivocally do not. It's as if the man opens up Sibelius or whichever music writing software he uses and then selects notes and beats at random and then just formats time signatures around whatever drivel appears on the screen and then calls it avant-garde or whatever he happens to call it.

I'm so apathetic at the moment that I can't even be bothered to rant about modern art. For those of you who haven't uttered the name Ross Edwards in my earshot, I have a very good and angry rant on the subject of modern art/s. I'm just feeling too blegh to put it on the internet.

Suffice it to say that The Promised Land was a bitch to perform and didn't even sound any good. Don't even get me started on David Malouf's lyrics therefor. Not only did they not make sense, they didn't scan well. And if I learnt nothing from Latin, it was that it's not that difficult to get stuff to scan well. Seriously. especially if you've just chosen random words and stuck them together. If you've done that (as Malouf indisputably did) there is no excuse for bad scanning.

My, my. That was a mildly pointless stream of consciousness. I was only motivated to blog so as to test whether or not my interface between my blog and facebook works. Theoretically, when I publish my post, my facebook profile will be automatically updated to reflect that fact. Gosh I love technology.