Adela vs. Communist Machinery, Round 2

The chairman Mao clock is windup. I neglected to wind it yesterday after it woke me up (I'd wound it before going to sleep, I hadn't thought it necessary). When I went to sleep at 11.30 last night, I found it had stopped at 11.00

Tricky move, Chairman. Let's call this one a draw.

Communism

When Mimi returned from China, she brought with her a windup Chairman Mao alarm clock, which she then gave to me. It's awesome. Mao's hand waves as the seconds tick. It is a truly awesome clock. The only issue is the alarm function.

I went swimming this morning, and so last night I set the alarm for 0510. This morning, the alarm went off... at 0445.

Score at the end of round 1: communism 1, sleep 0.

You win this round, chairman.

A Little Red Joke

Khrushchev, Stalin and Gorbachev are on a train.

All of a sudden the train comes to a halt. They get out of their carriage to see what's going on. As it turns out, the driver and all of the workers have gone on strike.

The three men confer with themselves as to what the course of action ought to be.

Khrushchev speaks first.

"I know." He says. "We'll raise their wages and put more money into stimulating the economy in the hope that they'll go back to work."

Stalin is unimpressed by this idea.

"I say we just shoot them all and drive the train ourselves."

The other two are unswayed. Gorbachev then says:

"I know, guys. Why don't we just get back in the carriage, close the blinds and pretend that the train's still going."

Communism, a Facebook Quiz and Facial Hair

Since I won't be able to post this weekend (I think) because I have marching band from 9-4 both days...in Cumberland (which, by the way, I refuse to reco9gnise as a real place. If it doesn't have a train station, it doesn't exist), I'm writing an extra post today as compensation.

Contrary to the order listed in the title, I will begin with the facebook quiz, which I found in the notes of my friend (and sister of the girl I sit next to in english), Zio/Zoe.

I am to answer wittily the questions below using the titles of songs by a single band/artist.

Behold the convolution.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 10 people and include me. (That is to say, post it on your own profile rather than replying here, and tag 10 people after the note's done...)

Pick Your Artist: Frank Zappa

Are you male or female: Valley Girl (feat. Moonunit Zappa)

Describe yourself: The Muffin Man (feat. The Mothers of Invention)

How do you feel about yourself: Dancin' Fool

Describe where you currently live: Joe's Garage

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: San Berdino

Your best friends are: Montana

Your favorite color is: Let's Make The Water Turn Black

I know: Disco Boy

What's the weather like: Cosmik Debris

If your life were a TV show, what would it be called?: My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama

What is life to you: Dirty Love

What is the best advice you have to give: Don't Eat The Yellow Snow

If you could change your name, what would it be: Montana

What is your favorite food: Peaches En Regalia

And I managed to get all of them from the US CD release of Strictly Commercial.

I need to find something more constructive to do with my time... I know:

Communism.

I was watching 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart' on ABC2 yesterday, and he made the most fantastic call. Whilst poking fun at an Iowa Senator who believed that opposition to the universal healthcare bill was akin to the peaceful protest of the Velvet Revolution, he made a comment comparing the US president to the person whom most Americans believe was the head of the USSR at the time of its collapse, calling him Barack Ostalin.

The Chairman of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR was in fact Mikhail Gorbachev, but these are people from the lower 48 we're talking about. I'm happy that they know where Russia is.

Back to my initial narrative, this remark fitted nicely with something I had seen on 'The Colbert Report' (also on ABC2). After talking about an especially stupid politician, with a picture thereof on that little sidebar thingy they have on news shows, he said something along the lines of 'Usually I just stick a Hitler mustache on politicians, but I was so amazed by his work that I'm going to upgrade him to a Stalin mustache.'

This is especially humorous to me, because last holidays I found some old yearbooks from when my dad was at school. Apart from discovering what I already knew (Abe Greenbaum was a massive nerd: Chess club; Reach-For-The-Top-Team; Model UN. His best friends had Beatles haircuts), I also discovered that the Canadian federal police had suspicions of communism.

As it turns out, the Bathurst High School model UN team represented the PRC for three years running. The yearbook report he wrote in the 1973 Phoenix was enough to start the RCMP opening his mail before it was delivered to see if he was a communist spy (and this was when he was 16). Whenever we were in Canada and he recieved mail, it would be stamped 'opened by the RCMP'.
The report is as follows:
This year we are once again representing the Peoples Republic of China, keeping up with our reputation of protecting the third world power and defending the rights of the downtrodden. Due to our great diplomatic work, we have had 'Trickie Dickie' for dinner (we roasted him at our Paris Peace Talks). We prevented the American Imperialist Running Dogs from making the Vietnamese Republic look like the bottom of a shake-and-bake bag. We also control, I mean we are allied with the Albanian and Tanzanian delegations (which we represent also). Today O.I.S.E. Tomorrow the L.R.C.

1972's Phoenix involves a quote from Mao Tse Tung.

It amazes me that some political satire was enough to trigger ongoing government surveillance. But that was the seventies.

Communism was to them what Jihad is to us: something for a few extremists to engage in, in a manner which doesn't affect us but which causes the government to freak out.

I love how we learn from the past.