I've got two more posts to do about America, but first I'd like to publish this spoof I wrote on the plane. It's to the tune of Tik Tok (as you can doubtlessly surmise from the title).
Wake up in the morning feeling like Paul Keating
(Hey what up, man)
Grab my briefcase, I’m out the door, I’ve got to go to some meetings
(Let’s go)
Before I leave, I grab my keys and a Canberra map
Cause when I win the election, I ain’t coming back
Italian leather all over my toes, toes
Professionals tailor all of my clothes, clothes
Talk to the press on my iPhones, phones
Photo-opping, kissing lots of babies
Backed up by my party
The opposition wish they were me…
On top of the polls
Because I have castiron balls
Alright, I’mma fight
Up until election night
Tick tock on the clock
‘Till the caucus room is locked
For vo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ting
Ain’t got a care in the world except for immigration
Not a problem ‘cause I’m saved by the psyche of the nation
The conservatives think that refugees aren’t all good
And Australia's fine with sticking them in Villawood
I’m talking about neutralising threats, threats
Creating budget safety nets, nets
Choosing portfolios for my political pets…
Better known as my front benchers
Most of them need to wear dentures
The front bench all need dentures
Front bench need dent…
On top of the polls
Because I have castiron balls
Alright, I’mma fight
Up until election night
Tick tock on the clock
‘Till the caucus room is locked
For vo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ting
For what it’s worth
The Lodge’s my turf
And the voters
Yeah, they love me
With well placed ads
Pandering to fads
Got a Twitter page
Yeah they love me
For what it’s worth
The Lodge’s my turf
And the voters
Yeah, they love me
With well placed ads
Pandering to fads
Pandering to fads
Now, the polling don’t start ‘till I walk in
On top of the polls
Because I have castiron balls
Alright, I’mma fight
Up until election night
Tick tock on the clock
‘Till the caucus room is locked
For vo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ting
On top of the polls
Because I have castiron balls
Alright, I’mma fight
Up until election night
Tick tock on the clock
‘Till the caucus room is locked
For vo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ting
I'll get around to making a video of it eventually.
Showing posts with label Political Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Political Satire. Show all posts
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Ho Hum
Today, as my school age friends will know, is the first day of term 3.
I was rather looking forward to today as I haven't had an actual day of school for about 10 weeks. I was going to have to leave early in order to get myself the 30 km to Westmead via off peak public transport (let's call that 1.5 hours on the conservative side) by 2.45, but today being a tuesday, I'd still be able to attend 7 (of my usual 12 on a tuesday) periods of class before having to leave in order to see if the discharge I've been enjoying over the past two weeks was permanent.
Long story short, mum decided there was no point in me going to school today, and so I spent the morning bumming around Usyd. I was sent to Fisher to look for some textbooks Sarah needed for Uni (it seems UNSW's library system just isn't as good), but the call numbers she had given me were incorrect. Way to fail there.
I did however borrow one of their copies of Girt By Sea: a Quarterly Essay by Mungo (Wentworth) MacCallum about the refugee crisis. I'd been meaning to read that for a while.
I then walked to Town Hall to look for an Angus and Robertson store so that I could use a voucher I'd had for ages. I was hoping to find a Gutenberg Bible journal similar to the one I got last week, but depicting a different print. The range there was shit to put in nicely. I instead bought 'Poll Dancing': MacCallum's review of the 2007 election.
So today hasn't been a total loss. I'll be blogging about the PolCom stuff once I've read it.
I was rather looking forward to today as I haven't had an actual day of school for about 10 weeks. I was going to have to leave early in order to get myself the 30 km to Westmead via off peak public transport (let's call that 1.5 hours on the conservative side) by 2.45, but today being a tuesday, I'd still be able to attend 7 (of my usual 12 on a tuesday) periods of class before having to leave in order to see if the discharge I've been enjoying over the past two weeks was permanent.
Long story short, mum decided there was no point in me going to school today, and so I spent the morning bumming around Usyd. I was sent to Fisher to look for some textbooks Sarah needed for Uni (it seems UNSW's library system just isn't as good), but the call numbers she had given me were incorrect. Way to fail there.
I did however borrow one of their copies of Girt By Sea: a Quarterly Essay by Mungo (Wentworth) MacCallum about the refugee crisis. I'd been meaning to read that for a while.
I then walked to Town Hall to look for an Angus and Robertson store so that I could use a voucher I'd had for ages. I was hoping to find a Gutenberg Bible journal similar to the one I got last week, but depicting a different print. The range there was shit to put in nicely. I instead bought 'Poll Dancing': MacCallum's review of the 2007 election.
So today hasn't been a total loss. I'll be blogging about the PolCom stuff once I've read it.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Communism, a Facebook Quiz and Facial Hair
Since I won't be able to post this weekend (I think) because I have marching band from 9-4 both days...in Cumberland (which, by the way, I refuse to reco9gnise as a real place. If it doesn't have a train station, it doesn't exist), I'm writing an extra post today as compensation.
Contrary to the order listed in the title, I will begin with the facebook quiz, which I found in the notes of my friend (and sister of the girl I sit next to in english), Zio/Zoe.
I am to answer wittily the questions below using the titles of songs by a single band/artist.
Behold the convolution.
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 10 people and include me. (That is to say, post it on your own profile rather than replying here, and tag 10 people after the note's done...)
Pick Your Artist: Frank Zappa
Are you male or female: Valley Girl (feat. Moonunit Zappa)
Describe yourself: The Muffin Man (feat. The Mothers of Invention)
How do you feel about yourself: Dancin' Fool
Describe where you currently live: Joe's Garage
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: San Berdino
Your best friends are: Montana
Your favorite color is: Let's Make The Water Turn Black
I know: Disco Boy
What's the weather like: Cosmik Debris
If your life were a TV show, what would it be called?: My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
What is life to you: Dirty Love
What is the best advice you have to give: Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
If you could change your name, what would it be: Montana
What is your favorite food: Peaches En Regalia
And I managed to get all of them from the US CD release of Strictly Commercial.
I need to find something more constructive to do with my time... I know:
Communism.
I was watching 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart' on ABC2 yesterday, and he made the most fantastic call. Whilst poking fun at an Iowa Senator who believed that opposition to the universal healthcare bill was akin to the peaceful protest of the Velvet Revolution, he made a comment comparing the US president to the person whom most Americans believe was the head of the USSR at the time of its collapse, calling him Barack Ostalin.
The Chairman of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR was in fact Mikhail Gorbachev, but these are people from the lower 48 we're talking about. I'm happy that they know where Russia is.
Back to my initial narrative, this remark fitted nicely with something I had seen on 'The Colbert Report' (also on ABC2). After talking about an especially stupid politician, with a picture thereof on that little sidebar thingy they have on news shows, he said something along the lines of 'Usually I just stick a Hitler mustache on politicians, but I was so amazed by his work that I'm going to upgrade him to a Stalin mustache.'
This is especially humorous to me, because last holidays I found some old yearbooks from when my dad was at school. Apart from discovering what I already knew (Abe Greenbaum was a massive nerd: Chess club; Reach-For-The-Top-Team; Model UN. His best friends had Beatles haircuts), I also discovered that the Canadian federal police had suspicions of communism.
As it turns out, the Bathurst High School model UN team represented the PRC for three years running. The yearbook report he wrote in the 1973 Phoenix was enough to start the RCMP opening his mail before it was delivered to see if he was a communist spy (and this was when he was 16). Whenever we were in Canada and he recieved mail, it would be stamped 'opened by the RCMP'.
The report is as follows:
This year we are once again representing the Peoples Republic of China, keeping up with our reputation of protecting the third world power and defending the rights of the downtrodden. Due to our great diplomatic work, we have had 'Trickie Dickie' for dinner (we roasted him at our Paris Peace Talks). We prevented the American Imperialist Running Dogs from making the Vietnamese Republic look like the bottom of a shake-and-bake bag. We also control, I mean we are allied with the Albanian and Tanzanian delegations (which we represent also). Today O.I.S.E. Tomorrow the L.R.C.
1972's Phoenix involves a quote from Mao Tse Tung.
It amazes me that some political satire was enough to trigger ongoing government surveillance. But that was the seventies.
Communism was to them what Jihad is to us: something for a few extremists to engage in, in a manner which doesn't affect us but which causes the government to freak out.
I love how we learn from the past.
Contrary to the order listed in the title, I will begin with the facebook quiz, which I found in the notes of my friend (and sister of the girl I sit next to in english), Zio/Zoe.
I am to answer wittily the questions below using the titles of songs by a single band/artist.
Behold the convolution.
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 10 people and include me. (That is to say, post it on your own profile rather than replying here, and tag 10 people after the note's done...)
Pick Your Artist: Frank Zappa
Are you male or female: Valley Girl (feat. Moonunit Zappa)
Describe yourself: The Muffin Man (feat. The Mothers of Invention)
How do you feel about yourself: Dancin' Fool
Describe where you currently live: Joe's Garage
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: San Berdino
Your best friends are: Montana
Your favorite color is: Let's Make The Water Turn Black
I know: Disco Boy
What's the weather like: Cosmik Debris
If your life were a TV show, what would it be called?: My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
What is life to you: Dirty Love
What is the best advice you have to give: Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
If you could change your name, what would it be: Montana
What is your favorite food: Peaches En Regalia
And I managed to get all of them from the US CD release of Strictly Commercial.
I need to find something more constructive to do with my time... I know:
Communism.
I was watching 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart' on ABC2 yesterday, and he made the most fantastic call. Whilst poking fun at an Iowa Senator who believed that opposition to the universal healthcare bill was akin to the peaceful protest of the Velvet Revolution, he made a comment comparing the US president to the person whom most Americans believe was the head of the USSR at the time of its collapse, calling him Barack Ostalin.
The Chairman of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR was in fact Mikhail Gorbachev, but these are people from the lower 48 we're talking about. I'm happy that they know where Russia is.
Back to my initial narrative, this remark fitted nicely with something I had seen on 'The Colbert Report' (also on ABC2). After talking about an especially stupid politician, with a picture thereof on that little sidebar thingy they have on news shows, he said something along the lines of 'Usually I just stick a Hitler mustache on politicians, but I was so amazed by his work that I'm going to upgrade him to a Stalin mustache.'
This is especially humorous to me, because last holidays I found some old yearbooks from when my dad was at school. Apart from discovering what I already knew (Abe Greenbaum was a massive nerd: Chess club; Reach-For-The-Top-Team; Model UN. His best friends had Beatles haircuts), I also discovered that the Canadian federal police had suspicions of communism.
As it turns out, the Bathurst High School model UN team represented the PRC for three years running. The yearbook report he wrote in the 1973 Phoenix was enough to start the RCMP opening his mail before it was delivered to see if he was a communist spy (and this was when he was 16). Whenever we were in Canada and he recieved mail, it would be stamped 'opened by the RCMP'.
The report is as follows:
This year we are once again representing the Peoples Republic of China, keeping up with our reputation of protecting the third world power and defending the rights of the downtrodden. Due to our great diplomatic work, we have had 'Trickie Dickie' for dinner (we roasted him at our Paris Peace Talks). We prevented the American Imperialist Running Dogs from making the Vietnamese Republic look like the bottom of a shake-and-bake bag. We also control, I mean we are allied with the Albanian and Tanzanian delegations (which we represent also). Today O.I.S.E. Tomorrow the L.R.C.
1972's Phoenix involves a quote from Mao Tse Tung.
It amazes me that some political satire was enough to trigger ongoing government surveillance. But that was the seventies.
Communism was to them what Jihad is to us: something for a few extremists to engage in, in a manner which doesn't affect us but which causes the government to freak out.
I love how we learn from the past.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
