Harry Potter

Today (it was midnight and all) I honoured the end of an era. I went to see Harry Potter 7 part 2. Not only that, I saw it in 3D.
This post will consist of three parts: The end of an era; Why are two dimensions insufficient; Six hours is a long time. I'm refraining from commenting on the plot and all that, because I don't entirely want to be that bitch who is constantly mind-raping you with spoilers. Regardless, I'm pretty darn sure that even if you haven't read the book (which you really ought to), you still know the rudiments of it.

Part the First - The End of an Era.

When HP1 came out, so very long ago, I was but a wee lass of seven [for the record, I use the word 'lass' in the Scots sense of small lady; not in the Adidas clad, going on Mainies and staunching sense]. Now, as the series ends, I am eighteen, having spent a goodly portion of my leisure time either reading the books (over and over), watching the movies or, most enjoyably, cracking up at the atrocious Fanfiction. Because there are some absolute shockers out there.

There were two movie series which defined my age group: the Toy Story trilogy (which I hear is about to do a Douglas Adams and release a fourth) and of course Harry Potter. In the same way I grew up alongside Andy, I grew up alongside Harry and his magical friends. I swooned over Robert Pattinson's pre-Edwardian hotness; I drooled over the 'bad boys' (Tom Felton, Young Tom Riddle and Young Snape); I generally questioned why Ginny, coming from such a lovely family, ended up being such a ho-bag.

But I digress. The point I'm trying to elucidate is the fact that we are at a turning point. The acoutrements of our childhood (like Harry Potter) are finished, to be replaced by whatever is going to define our age bracket now (I'm hoping True Blood). We're getting old.

Part the Second - Why Are Two Dimensions No Longer Sufficient?

It's no longer enough to merely watch a film or TV show. Now we have to have stuff flying at us and gettin' all up in our bidness as it were. I'm probably sounding like the grumpy old conservative that I am (I mean I certainly look the part - I'm wearing a blazer and pearls) but why can't we return to the good old days when the dividing line between entertainment and life was just that. A line. Because entertainment, in 2D was just a linear construct whereas real life was a spatial construct involving specific densities and volumetric displacements and all sorts of other fun geo-physical funsies.

Wow. That was a pretty darn nerdy rant.

Part the Third - Why One Really Ought to Avail Oneself of Internet Banking Facilities When Said Facilities Present Themselves.

I didn't. As a result, in order to be assured of tickets for the midnight showing, I arrived at Westfield Miranda at around 1800 and by 1830 I had four tickets to the midnight showing of HP7pt2, along with special edition Harry Potter glasses shaped 3D glasses.

By 1910 I was joined by Monica and Koby, and eventually (2040) we were joined by Meg - Monica's cousin, and a new addition to my internet exploits. There was nothing to do (and I really do mean nothing), and so we hung out like cool kids, judging the profusion of lads which seemed to be everywhere. We then got incredibly bored so we went on some mainies and staunched some bitchez.

I lie. We didn't.

We went for churros. Because we're hardcore like that.

By about 2130 we were hanging out outside the cinema. Which gradually filled with Shire dwellers, including lots of hipster boys who gave Mon and Koby 'lady boners' (their terminology, not mine), but just weren't my type. Because we all know what my type is...

Anyway. As the Shiries appeared in their varying levels of costuming (there was one girl who looked uncannily like HBC as Bellatrix. Snaps to her), we played Would You Rather. Because we had nothing better to do. Most of it was reasonably middle of the road, with the exception of two which were absolutely inspired. Were I still writing The Week (which I'm not because my life is too boring), they would most definitely be in there.

1) Monica to myself:
Would you rather One Time At Band Camp a Tuba, or verb of choice a goat.

2) Monica and myself to Koby:
Would you rather a dead Nick Jonas with a goat watching (N.B.: this goat has Riley's face), or that same goat with Nick Jonas watching.

As you can see, goats were for some reason quite a prevalent theme. Go figure.

My point in all this is to pre-order your tickets. Because that was six hours I'm never getting back.

I Hate the Internet

No, I lie. I only hate MY internet.

Because it's dialup.

What's that I hear you say?

Surely you have left the technological stone age, Adela!

Well, I haven't. My internet is dial-up, prior to one month ago, if I wanted to watch a DVD I had to do it through one of our computers, and I know how to work a BetaMax projector.

What's a BetaMax? I hear you ask.

I'll tell you: it's the evil piece of crap which predated VCRs.

I'm only bringing this up because I felt like procrastinating by voting on submissions on mlia.com

AND I COULDN'T BECAUSE MY INTERNET WAS TOO SLOW TO LOAD THE PAGES!

There's a reason I spend a lot of time on fanfiction when I'm trying to procrastinate.

IT'S BECAUSE MY INTERNET IS TOO SLOW TO LOAD ANYTHING BETTER!

This is stressful. I'm so bored that I'm actually telpted to start writing my letter to Daniel Cohn-Bendit asking for his input regarding the lasting effects of 'Les evenements du Mai '68'.

Which will involve me writing a letter in *expletiving* français Française. Why does no-one outside of Canada understand français Québecois?

I hate my internet. I could use some good MLIA right now. Instead I'm heading over to fanfiction to leave nasty reviews on some crappy fanfiction written by thirteen year olds from America who haven't yet discovered the joys of spellcheck.

Because being a bitch is cathartic.

Hullo All

To start off with, a quick note on the name of the blog.

'Never separate a simple man from his cheese' is a bulgarian proverb. I have no idea whatsoever with regard to its meaning or provenance, but it sounds interesting enough.

I'll be blogging on pretty much whatever takes my fancy at the time of writing, and today it's the glory of fanfiction.net

Fanfiction is a wonderful website. It allows you to write your own work, using the premise which an author has already thought of, thus making your life far easier, because let's face it, it's easier to write when someone's already thought of most of the plot developments.

But fanfiction is marvellous for another reason: Harry Potter is beating Twilight.

I don't necessarily know your views on the matter, but I thoroughly dislike the Twilight series. It just lacks that certain something that makes good books good. In short, they're stunningly mediochre.

Harry Potter - although the books started to go downhill after about the 3rd book because J K Rowling decided to actually give the characters personalities, which was unfortunate, because that's when the teen angst started - has that certain something. But yet for the current generation of preteens, Twilight is in some cases the only thing they'll read. Or watch. Or dress in. Or write on. Because there's a rather intense merchandise market as well. Huzzah for capitalism.

Regardless of this, Harry potter has 447 000+ stories, whilst Twilight languishes at 136 000+, not includign crossover stories or stories concerning themselves with the movies.

All I can say is thank heavens. Fanfiction is one of the last facets of the internet unsullied by 'Twi-hards' as they are called.

One of the other last bastions of resistance is the Darkside forum (http://www.freewebs.com/thedarksidecometh/index.htm) which allows members to vent their spleen regarding the proliferation of Twilight in the world around us. I rather like the dark side. I admire their struggle. And I really must applaud them for the fact that they managed to inspire such an abusive letter from Stephenie Meyer's seemingly rather angry 'webmaster', Seth.

Keep up the good work.