Thursday, April 1, 2010

I Hate the Internet

No, I lie. I only hate MY internet.

Because it's dialup.

What's that I hear you say?

Surely you have left the technological stone age, Adela!

Well, I haven't. My internet is dial-up, prior to one month ago, if I wanted to watch a DVD I had to do it through one of our computers, and I know how to work a BetaMax projector.

What's a BetaMax? I hear you ask.

I'll tell you: it's the evil piece of crap which predated VCRs.

I'm only bringing this up because I felt like procrastinating by voting on submissions on mlia.com

AND I COULDN'T BECAUSE MY INTERNET WAS TOO SLOW TO LOAD THE PAGES!

There's a reason I spend a lot of time on fanfiction when I'm trying to procrastinate.

IT'S BECAUSE MY INTERNET IS TOO SLOW TO LOAD ANYTHING BETTER!

This is stressful. I'm so bored that I'm actually telpted to start writing my letter to Daniel Cohn-Bendit asking for his input regarding the lasting effects of 'Les evenements du Mai '68'.

Which will involve me writing a letter in *expletiving* français Française. Why does no-one outside of Canada understand français Québecois?

I hate my internet. I could use some good MLIA right now. Instead I'm heading over to fanfiction to leave nasty reviews on some crappy fanfiction written by thirteen year olds from America who haven't yet discovered the joys of spellcheck.

Because being a bitch is cathartic.

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