This is my notes of The Week from prior to my admission: basically there’s somewhere around two and a half days of funny.
To begin with, period one on Monday is English, where I sit next to Yvette.
On Monday (praise unto the heavens) Yvette pulled out her Frankenstein before Mr Turner even managed to finish articulating his request for us to do so.
Yvette: Frankenwin.
For the past few weeks, whenever anyone mentions or references the monster’s desire for Frankenstein to create him a mate, I always turn to Yvette and make some kind of joke about ‘crazy monster sex’.
This information will become pertinent below:
Mr Turner: …desire for connection.
Yvette: If you mention that one more time, I will murder you.
Me: What?
Yvette: Crazy monster sex.
Me: Oh. Yeah. That.
Later, during triple Latin, which includes a lunch class, Monica was eating a banana. It was bruised.
Sophia (to Monica): Your banana has herpes.
Me: I’m thinking syphilis. You have a syphilitic banana.
Monica: And how.
Durign period 8, by which time it’s our third period of latin and our brains are slightly fried, Mr Morrison stretched out his arms.
Monica and Myself: You’re an albatross!!!
(Air high-five because we’re too far away to reach each other.)
Mr Morrison: Go home and measure your arm span and compare it to your height. They’ll be about the same.
Me (deducing logic): You’re an albatross in height!!!
Mr Morrison: There are so many places to start with that.
On Tuesday, during double English periods seven and eight, I was being my usual mature (sic) self.
Me: I’m so mature.
Yvette: Like old cheese.
Both: *high five*
Then, during Latin in periods 10 and 11 (I didn’t even know they existed until I started having class during them), Mr Morrison was making a point. What it was exactly escapes me, but whatever.
Mr Morrison (to Monica): I gave your mother a kiss.
Monica: No! I refuse to listen until you find another example.
And then on Friday, I received this text message. It was from Yvette:
Double English faggot. How dare you be so selfish and bail on me for hospital!
What a darling. I passed my phone around the class for everyone to read. We lolled muchly.
Showing posts with label Frankenstein. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Frankenstein. Show all posts
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
The Week
For a while now, Mr Morrison has been slightly glittery. This is because he has been marking year 7 assignments, and such assignments are outstanding in nothing other than sheer sparkliness.
We’d been making jokes about his glitteriness for a while when he eventually said “Every day I fly to school and I just need a little sprinkling of fairy dust. Are you happy?”
We were. Astoundingly so.
Later in the lesson, we were discussing History Extension major work essays.
Mr Morrison: I once had to write a 4000 word essay in German in one night.
Monica: Go on…
Mr Morrison: That was the climax of the story.
Me: Why did you leave it to the last minute? Were you out partying with Alex?
Mr Morrison: Yes.
Much lols following that. Alex was Mr Morrison’s hard-partying roommate when he was at uni in Vienna. Any story involving Alex generally turns out to be an interesting one.
Whilst translating us some Cicero
Mersini: I can’t spell today.
Mr Morrison: T. O. D. A. Y
Me: But… oooooh. Right. I didn’t think there was a T in ‘defence’
Mr Morrison: opportere
Mersini: That just makes me hungry.
Me: Why would indirect statements make you hungry?
(you can tell I was really concentrating that lesson)
Sophia: indirect STEAKments.
As I stated back in the holidays, our class spent a day trying to translate the Cicero. We got a bit unmotivated towards the end, as can be seen by our marvellous translation of a certain sentence as read out by Monica.
“Which you do not make to/against the strong military, but the way which you keep the hands off the other money.”
The actual translation goes something like this:
‘That it is necessary to be proved by you not that you did well in military affairs but how you kept your hands from other people’s money.’
Now onto history extension, where we are learning about the historicity of Jesus. We’re watching a documentary from the PBS during which Dominic Crossan expresses numerous opinions regarding Jesus and the like. One of the better ones was:
“That’s the terrible price of an apocalypse. There’s going to be an awful lot of dead people.”
And now to modern history where we had just begun the study of Nazi foreign policy. First, my definition of war: war is foreign policy carried out on foreign soil.
Mr Sheldrick drew a marvellous diagram explaining Nazi foreign policy. Here it is, along with his accompanying commentary.
To start with, he drew this.
The small thingy in the middle is Britain, sans Ireland and a large proportion of Wales.
The big thingy towards the right is Europe, lacking all of Spain and Portugal, The Netherlands, Scandinavia, the Mediterranean…
Then he added this
The shaded bit is central/eastern Europe. Germany, Poland, Austria, Hungary, the assorted other nations which are now predominantly post-communist something-stan, or alternately have a civil war or coup every ten or so years. But anyway.
Because when you control central Europe, you can
Branch out and ultimately control all of Europe. And when you control Europe…
…you control the world.
Yes. The smiley face was on the board.
Then there was English.
Mr Turner: Have you heard of Immanuel Kant?
Me (under my breath because I was boycotting class participation): Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable, Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table. Nietzsche, Nietzsche was (etc. the philosopher’s drinking song c/o Monty Python)
Later that lesson I was bored. So I put my copy of Frankenstein open on my head.
Yvette: Frankenhat.
FRANKENHAT The one function of a copy of Frankenstein. Sun protection.
The next day in Latin Extension:
Mr Morrison: How did you go in the Easter Show? I forgot to ask you that.
Me: I was disqualified for inappropriate mounting.
Mr Morrison then laughed until he was incredibly red. It took us all a while to cotton on to what he was laughing about, because generally we’re the ones who pick up on it, not him. So that was some unexpected of our normal roles.
A few minutes later, Mr Morrison wrote something on the whiteboard.
Sophia: Is that a new marker?
Mr Morrison: It may be.
Oh the banality…or is it banalité…I never know…is it like naiveté…is it anglicised…oh well.
We were translating Horace I.5 in which Horace is bitching about the guy Pyrrha dumped him for.
Mr Morrison: He’s someone a bit effeminate. Maybe someone who’s into a bit of manscaping.
If there’s one thing guaranteed to make things weird, it’s your teacher talking about manscaping.
And later, whilst making style notes:
Mr Morrison: Black is a word with evil connotations.
Me: Sir, are you being a white supremacist?
Mr Morrison: Yes
Me:picks up pen
Mr Morrison: Don’t write that down.
Disclaimer: Mr Morrison is not a white supremacist.
And today in English:
We’re learning about Frankenstein and there’s a lot of crap regarding the supremacy of nature and such tree-hugging pseudo-bohemianism.
Alagu: When Victor and the monster die in the frozen north, it’s as if nature wins.
Mr Turner: And what gender is nature portrayed as?
Alagu: Female.
Mr Turner: So the women win in the end.
(He was making a point).
Me (to Yvette): well if nature is a woman, then the arctic would be a frigid bitch. Thus in the end, it’s the frigid bitches who win.
Later:
Mr Turner: Are women passive or active in the book?
All: Passive.
Me (to Yvette): Passive like a gerund.
Yvette: Don’t make grammar jokes at me.
We were also given a handout compiled my Mr Morris (an English teaching deputy principal) which dealt with Frankenstein and Bladerunner.
Mr Morris’ handout: [Tyrell] builds [the replicants] well…but in an act of mean spiritedness, they are given a lifespan of 4 years.
Yvette (to me): That’s wrong. He did it because after the 4 years they’d grow emotions.
Me (to Yvette): Especially because most of them were created to be sex slaves. The last thing you want is a sex slave with emotions.
Yvette: Damn right.
And back to class discussion of Frankenstein:
Mr Turner (about the De Lacey family): Boring bunch of Bourgeois vegetarians.
Yvette (to me): Better than being a bunch of cheese eating surrender monkeys.
I lolled at that (internally). I found that lovely term for the French in a book the title of which I have since forgotten. But it’s a good description.
And then after school, I went to Hurstville with Monica, Sophia, Elsa and Hilary. We were drinking EasyWay (which is a curious product…)
Monica’s had pearls in it.
Monica: Oh My God! I can’t get this fucking ball!
And later, Sophia choked on her easy way.
Me: What happened?
Sophia: I sucked too hard.
We’d been making jokes about his glitteriness for a while when he eventually said “Every day I fly to school and I just need a little sprinkling of fairy dust. Are you happy?”
We were. Astoundingly so.
Later in the lesson, we were discussing History Extension major work essays.
Mr Morrison: I once had to write a 4000 word essay in German in one night.
Monica: Go on…
Mr Morrison: That was the climax of the story.
Me: Why did you leave it to the last minute? Were you out partying with Alex?
Mr Morrison: Yes.
Much lols following that. Alex was Mr Morrison’s hard-partying roommate when he was at uni in Vienna. Any story involving Alex generally turns out to be an interesting one.
Whilst translating us some Cicero
Mersini: I can’t spell today.
Mr Morrison: T. O. D. A. Y
Me: But… oooooh. Right. I didn’t think there was a T in ‘defence’
Mr Morrison: opportere
Mersini: That just makes me hungry.
Me: Why would indirect statements make you hungry?
(you can tell I was really concentrating that lesson)
Sophia: indirect STEAKments.
As I stated back in the holidays, our class spent a day trying to translate the Cicero. We got a bit unmotivated towards the end, as can be seen by our marvellous translation of a certain sentence as read out by Monica.
“Which you do not make to/against the strong military, but the way which you keep the hands off the other money.”
The actual translation goes something like this:
‘That it is necessary to be proved by you not that you did well in military affairs but how you kept your hands from other people’s money.’
Now onto history extension, where we are learning about the historicity of Jesus. We’re watching a documentary from the PBS during which Dominic Crossan expresses numerous opinions regarding Jesus and the like. One of the better ones was:
“That’s the terrible price of an apocalypse. There’s going to be an awful lot of dead people.”
And now to modern history where we had just begun the study of Nazi foreign policy. First, my definition of war: war is foreign policy carried out on foreign soil.
Mr Sheldrick drew a marvellous diagram explaining Nazi foreign policy. Here it is, along with his accompanying commentary.
To start with, he drew this.
The small thingy in the middle is Britain, sans Ireland and a large proportion of Wales.
The big thingy towards the right is Europe, lacking all of Spain and Portugal, The Netherlands, Scandinavia, the Mediterranean…
Then he added this
The shaded bit is central/eastern Europe. Germany, Poland, Austria, Hungary, the assorted other nations which are now predominantly post-communist something-stan, or alternately have a civil war or coup every ten or so years. But anyway.
Because when you control central Europe, you can
Branch out and ultimately control all of Europe. And when you control Europe…
…you control the world.
Yes. The smiley face was on the board.
Then there was English.
Mr Turner: Have you heard of Immanuel Kant?
Me (under my breath because I was boycotting class participation): Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable, Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table. Nietzsche, Nietzsche was (etc. the philosopher’s drinking song c/o Monty Python)
Later that lesson I was bored. So I put my copy of Frankenstein open on my head.
Yvette: Frankenhat.
FRANKENHAT The one function of a copy of Frankenstein. Sun protection.
The next day in Latin Extension:
Mr Morrison: How did you go in the Easter Show? I forgot to ask you that.
Me: I was disqualified for inappropriate mounting.
Mr Morrison then laughed until he was incredibly red. It took us all a while to cotton on to what he was laughing about, because generally we’re the ones who pick up on it, not him. So that was some unexpected of our normal roles.
A few minutes later, Mr Morrison wrote something on the whiteboard.
Sophia: Is that a new marker?
Mr Morrison: It may be.
Oh the banality…or is it banalité…I never know…is it like naiveté…is it anglicised…oh well.
We were translating Horace I.5 in which Horace is bitching about the guy Pyrrha dumped him for.
Mr Morrison: He’s someone a bit effeminate. Maybe someone who’s into a bit of manscaping.
If there’s one thing guaranteed to make things weird, it’s your teacher talking about manscaping.
And later, whilst making style notes:
Mr Morrison: Black is a word with evil connotations.
Me: Sir, are you being a white supremacist?
Mr Morrison: Yes
Me:
Mr Morrison: Don’t write that down.
Disclaimer: Mr Morrison is not a white supremacist.
And today in English:
We’re learning about Frankenstein and there’s a lot of crap regarding the supremacy of nature and such tree-hugging pseudo-bohemianism.
Alagu: When Victor and the monster die in the frozen north, it’s as if nature wins.
Mr Turner: And what gender is nature portrayed as?
Alagu: Female.
Mr Turner: So the women win in the end.
(He was making a point).
Me (to Yvette): well if nature is a woman, then the arctic would be a frigid bitch. Thus in the end, it’s the frigid bitches who win.
Later:
Mr Turner: Are women passive or active in the book?
All: Passive.
Me (to Yvette): Passive like a gerund.
Yvette: Don’t make grammar jokes at me.
We were also given a handout compiled my Mr Morris (an English teaching deputy principal) which dealt with Frankenstein and Bladerunner.
Mr Morris’ handout: [Tyrell] builds [the replicants] well…but in an act of mean spiritedness, they are given a lifespan of 4 years.
Yvette (to me): That’s wrong. He did it because after the 4 years they’d grow emotions.
Me (to Yvette): Especially because most of them were created to be sex slaves. The last thing you want is a sex slave with emotions.
Yvette: Damn right.
And back to class discussion of Frankenstein:
Mr Turner (about the De Lacey family): Boring bunch of Bourgeois vegetarians.
Yvette (to me): Better than being a bunch of cheese eating surrender monkeys.
I lolled at that (internally). I found that lovely term for the French in a book the title of which I have since forgotten. But it’s a good description.
And then after school, I went to Hurstville with Monica, Sophia, Elsa and Hilary. We were drinking EasyWay (which is a curious product…)
Monica’s had pearls in it.
Monica: Oh My God! I can’t get this fucking ball!
And later, Sophia choked on her easy way.
Me: What happened?
Sophia: I sucked too hard.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Tuesday arvo
Written during double english. Thus explaining the later use of present tense.
At lunch I discovered that my rpevious title of Latin class whore has been upgraded to a generalised kinky whore. Thanks Monica.
In English, instead of puttimg my hand up whenever Mr Turner (the vampirate teaching us Frankenstein) asks a question, like the complete nerd that I am, I'm sitting completely still, with a bored look on my face.
First I got back a piece of creative writing which I threw together during a double period of Modern History on the last day of term (when it was due). Apparently I have the foundations right (i.e. my spelling is correct and I'm anal about grammar) but my plot, whilst "imaginative" (read: mildly ludicrous) really didn't deal with Belonging.
Of course it didn't. I'm rubbish at Creative Writing, and I think that Belonging as a stupid concept. But anyway.
Back to me seeing if I can mess with the head of my teacher by lacking opinion. Because I'm the only one who consistently answers questions.
Class started at 1.15.
Mr Turner is working hard to get input from the class. He asks a question ...pauses ...elaborates ...pauses ...waits a bit more ...eventually someone mutters something with an interrogative upwards inflection and he jumps on it in a desperate attempt to prompt class discussion.
1.50
He still hasn't cracked. But he's definitely working harder that usual.
2.15
A good minute of silence waiting for an answer. A decent start. I'm going to need to continue this not working on class participation shindig. It's rather enjoyable.
At lunch I discovered that my rpevious title of Latin class whore has been upgraded to a generalised kinky whore. Thanks Monica.
In English, instead of puttimg my hand up whenever Mr Turner (the vampirate teaching us Frankenstein) asks a question, like the complete nerd that I am, I'm sitting completely still, with a bored look on my face.
First I got back a piece of creative writing which I threw together during a double period of Modern History on the last day of term (when it was due). Apparently I have the foundations right (i.e. my spelling is correct and I'm anal about grammar) but my plot, whilst "imaginative" (read: mildly ludicrous) really didn't deal with Belonging.
Of course it didn't. I'm rubbish at Creative Writing, and I think that Belonging as a stupid concept. But anyway.
Back to me seeing if I can mess with the head of my teacher by lacking opinion. Because I'm the only one who consistently answers questions.
Class started at 1.15.
Mr Turner is working hard to get input from the class. He asks a question ...pauses ...elaborates ...pauses ...waits a bit more ...eventually someone mutters something with an interrogative upwards inflection and he jumps on it in a desperate attempt to prompt class discussion.
1.50
He still hasn't cracked. But he's definitely working harder that usual.
2.15
A good minute of silence waiting for an answer. A decent start. I'm going to need to continue this not working on class participation shindig. It's rather enjoyable.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The week.
This may become a regular fixture - the assorted school funnies of the week which didn't warrant their own post.
To begin with: FRANKENLORD (expletive) a way to blaspheme obscenely without actually using obscenities.
"You brought Frankenstein today? Thank the Frankenlord!"
N.B. pronounced in a manner akin to 'fuckin'.
FRANKENMOTHERFUCKER (n) As Victor is the 'mother' of the monster (i.e. he 'bore' it) thus, to be a frankenmotherfucker, he would have to be wanking. Thus, a frankenmotherfucker is one who supplicates themselves after creating a monster otu of spare parts.
In Latin on thursday, we had some entertaining segways. One of them involved us speculating as to what animal Mr Morrison (our teacher) would be. Sarah suggested a meerkat. I suggested a giant squid. As it turns out, that's his favourite animal. Who'd have thunk.
There was then a minor discussion regardign the pronunciation of the word command which resulted in teh following conversational gems:
Mr Morrison: You say command, I say potato.
Me: You say potato, I say giant squid.
Monica: You say potato, I say Lady Gaga.
Later in the lesson, as we discussed Cicero's wording, Mr Morrison said "How much authority does this speech have?"
Half the class however thought he had said "How much authority does this bitch have?" something which mildly confused us - because that's not the kind of thing he usually says - at which point we dissolved into giggles.
Today, during Latin extension, we were translating a Catullus poem addressed to Furius and Aurelius - the selfsame men Catullus 16 was addressed to. Namely the guys he said he would sodomise violently (and that was the nice part of the poem).
This led me say "Catullus didn't like many people", to which Mr Morrison responded "Catullus liked his brother."
Utter silence.
And then as we were leaving, he said "My comment for the weekend is be nice to each other." at which point he left the room. The moment he was outside the door he added "And don't get drunk or pregnant."
Well. That was unexpected. All I can say is: I won't.
To begin with: FRANKENLORD (expletive) a way to blaspheme obscenely without actually using obscenities.
"You brought Frankenstein today? Thank the Frankenlord!"
N.B. pronounced in a manner akin to 'fuckin'.
FRANKENMOTHERFUCKER (n) As Victor is the 'mother' of the monster (i.e. he 'bore' it) thus, to be a frankenmotherfucker, he would have to be wanking. Thus, a frankenmotherfucker is one who supplicates themselves after creating a monster otu of spare parts.
In Latin on thursday, we had some entertaining segways. One of them involved us speculating as to what animal Mr Morrison (our teacher) would be. Sarah suggested a meerkat. I suggested a giant squid. As it turns out, that's his favourite animal. Who'd have thunk.
There was then a minor discussion regardign the pronunciation of the word command which resulted in teh following conversational gems:
Mr Morrison: You say command, I say potato.
Me: You say potato, I say giant squid.
Monica: You say potato, I say Lady Gaga.
Later in the lesson, as we discussed Cicero's wording, Mr Morrison said "How much authority does this speech have?"
Half the class however thought he had said "How much authority does this bitch have?" something which mildly confused us - because that's not the kind of thing he usually says - at which point we dissolved into giggles.
Today, during Latin extension, we were translating a Catullus poem addressed to Furius and Aurelius - the selfsame men Catullus 16 was addressed to. Namely the guys he said he would sodomise violently (and that was the nice part of the poem).
This led me say "Catullus didn't like many people", to which Mr Morrison responded "Catullus liked his brother."
Utter silence.
And then as we were leaving, he said "My comment for the weekend is be nice to each other." at which point he left the room. The moment he was outside the door he added "And don't get drunk or pregnant."
Well. That was unexpected. All I can say is: I won't.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
A Facebook Conversation About Pablo Neruda.
This is the gist of a facebook conversation with one of the people whom I know doing the IB.
Adela (on Damon's wall): Wow. Neruda is messed up. On the upside, you don't need to do Frankenstein. Victor is a sissy little girl bitch. (I got that gem of an insult off Scrubs. I love that show.) If I were to be studying Neruda in english, I have a feeling I would have given my teacher a nervous breakdown.
(Just as a bit of a pointer, that was paraphrased.)
Damon (in the comments thingy): Ha! You see!!! He is a douche-wad with issues pertaining to women. We had to deal with 21 poems of his.
"It steadily gets worse and worse... first the dodgy sexual imagery, leading to his whispering girly man things..."
The bit in quotation marks was (surprise, surprise) a quote.
Neruda REALLY needed a girlfriend.
Adela (on Damon's wall): Wow. Neruda is messed up. On the upside, you don't need to do Frankenstein. Victor is a sissy little girl bitch. (I got that gem of an insult off Scrubs. I love that show.) If I were to be studying Neruda in english, I have a feeling I would have given my teacher a nervous breakdown.
(Just as a bit of a pointer, that was paraphrased.)
Damon (in the comments thingy): Ha! You see!!! He is a douche-wad with issues pertaining to women. We had to deal with 21 poems of his.
"It steadily gets worse and worse... first the dodgy sexual imagery, leading to his whispering girly man things..."
The bit in quotation marks was (surprise, surprise) a quote.
Neruda REALLY needed a girlfriend.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Frankendickhead
Today in english, I was seized with the idea of writing fake urban dictionary meanings to random words and phrases I came up with. Since we're studying Frankenstein, they're all themed somewhat similarly.
I'll give the WORD (part of speech) Definition
use in a sentence and/or other tidbits
Let's start with FRANKENDICKHEAD (n) Someone who forces adolescents to study Frankenstein against their will.
My english teacher is such a Frankendickhead
FRANKENEYE (n) When someone burst a capillary in their eye resulting in a dirty great red patch below their iris which everyone focuses on whenever that person happens to look anywhere, thus distracting everyone.
Holy CRAP! Check out Mr Turner's Frankeneye
FRANKENFAIL (v) When the girl who sits next to you in english forgets her copy of Frankenstein for a few weeks running.
Yvette Frankenfailed again.
FRANKENPHRASE (n) A statement which is self glorifying to the point where people are tempted to be violent towards you.
Where does Victor Frankenstein get all these Frankenphrases from? I feel tempted to murder him every time he opens his mouth.
FRANKENSEX (v) To engage in intercourse with someone whom you've always thought of as faimly, but who thankfully isn't actually related to you.
All this Frankensex is really weirding me out.
FRANKENBABY (n) Somethign you threw together with whatever happened to by lying around within reach.
"What's in the casserole?"
"Oh, it's a Frankenbaby."
FRANKENFRIENDSHIP (gerund) 'Real manly men' who have a friendship so close that you'd assume there was a little bit of courtly man-love going on on the side.
All this Frankenfriendship is also weirding me out.
FRANKENFAMILY (n) A way of forcing women into being nurturers and the producers of progeny.
The FLDS is a great example of Frankenfamily.
KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR (n) A man who clearly doesn't fight hard enough in battle, otherwise he's be dented and covered in gore, not to mention a bit tarnished."He's her knight in shining armour."
"What a ponce."
"I reckon."
FRANKENFATHERHOOD (gerund) Abandoning your child because it's ugly.
Holy expletive that kid's ugly. I can't believe its parents haven't gone and Frankenfatherhooded it.
BLADERUNNER (n) A great big segway which takes an english class off topic.
"That was an effective Bladerunner."
"I know right? We didn't do any work all double."
FRANKENPATERNITYSUIT (n) When the child you abandoned whilst practicing your Frankenfatherhood comes after you demanding that you recognise it as your progeny.
"What's this?"
"It's a Frankenpaternitysuit, you Frankendickhead. Maybe you shouldn't have been such a Frankenfather."
I'll give the WORD (part of speech) Definition
use in a sentence and/or other tidbits
Let's start with FRANKENDICKHEAD (n) Someone who forces adolescents to study Frankenstein against their will.
My english teacher is such a Frankendickhead
FRANKENEYE (n) When someone burst a capillary in their eye resulting in a dirty great red patch below their iris which everyone focuses on whenever that person happens to look anywhere, thus distracting everyone.
Holy CRAP! Check out Mr Turner's Frankeneye
FRANKENFAIL (v) When the girl who sits next to you in english forgets her copy of Frankenstein for a few weeks running.
Yvette Frankenfailed again.
FRANKENPHRASE (n) A statement which is self glorifying to the point where people are tempted to be violent towards you.
Where does Victor Frankenstein get all these Frankenphrases from? I feel tempted to murder him every time he opens his mouth.
FRANKENSEX (v) To engage in intercourse with someone whom you've always thought of as faimly, but who thankfully isn't actually related to you.
All this Frankensex is really weirding me out.
FRANKENBABY (n) Somethign you threw together with whatever happened to by lying around within reach.
"What's in the casserole?"
"Oh, it's a Frankenbaby."
FRANKENFRIENDSHIP (gerund) 'Real manly men' who have a friendship so close that you'd assume there was a little bit of courtly man-love going on on the side.
All this Frankenfriendship is also weirding me out.
FRANKENFAMILY (n) A way of forcing women into being nurturers and the producers of progeny.
The FLDS is a great example of Frankenfamily.
KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR (n) A man who clearly doesn't fight hard enough in battle, otherwise he's be dented and covered in gore, not to mention a bit tarnished."He's her knight in shining armour."
"What a ponce."
"I reckon."
FRANKENFATHERHOOD (gerund) Abandoning your child because it's ugly.
Holy expletive that kid's ugly. I can't believe its parents haven't gone and Frankenfatherhooded it.
BLADERUNNER (n) A great big segway which takes an english class off topic.
"That was an effective Bladerunner."
"I know right? We didn't do any work all double."
FRANKENPATERNITYSUIT (n) When the child you abandoned whilst practicing your Frankenfatherhood comes after you demanding that you recognise it as your progeny.
"What's this?"
"It's a Frankenpaternitysuit, you Frankendickhead. Maybe you shouldn't have been such a Frankenfather."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
